Saturday, March 24, 2012


 One of my greatest faults is not taking time to listen. I know in the Quaker faith this is one of the key elements and perhaps something I had to learn the hard way. The past few months my health has been poor and I went for a few exams and surgeries. My very nature for anyone who knows me is too work constantly , or spend time repairing or building. When I run out of things at home go somewhere else to keep busy. Last week I spent time in the Intensive Care Unit teetering at a dangerously high temperature convulsing and thinking this was it. God had me where I needed to be quiet and still.
 My first reaction was to pray but instead I listened too weak to do anything else. Being the first in triage my room for the next three days was in front of the nurses station. In the ICU a man was brought in next to me after driving a motorcycle 100MPH into oncoming traffic, who in my opinion was in worst shape. But I had a real nasty blood infection which needed immediate care. The doctor in charge had them add two more IV's and replace the needles with larger ones.  They hit me with antibiotics for bacteria, virus and fungus not having enough time for cultures to grow and analyze. On the second day my temperature went to 102, then 101 and eventually normal.
 During this time I listened to the suffering around me. Men screaming with pain during the night , on all sides. There would be no rest for three days, one thing I also remembered was the nurses station where they talked about their boyfriends and had some laughter amongst the chaos. They were all very good to me - did not like all the needles but it was par for the course. While listening peoples lives unwound around me. My children came to visit and we had a chance to talk about things that eluded us in the past fast paced world. I never felt alone or scared but was reminded of Gods presence in our daily lives. Everything I was hearing , God was hearing. The suffering, the gossip and the laughter it was very powerful.

 Psalms 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”

 In the end I recovered went home and prayed but will forever take time to listen. Not just when there is no other choice but on a regular basis. One thing that sticks out in my mind is the doctor saying the bad news is you have blood poisoning - the good news is you are cancer free. Praise God! Sometimes we have to take the bad news with the good.